Harmonized Resourced Manifesting

How I turbo-charged my personal growth - A Superpower Series: #5 Flexibility

“Adaptability equals survival.’

Superpower # 5: Flexibility

Flexibility refers to the ability to accept, cope with, and adjust or adapt to stressful life events.

It acts as a buffer between stress and negative psychological outcomes such as distress, depression and anxiety.

It helps you become better at problem-solving and creativity.

I’m fascinated by the palm plant. It grows so tall yet does not break in the midst of storms. Why? Well, have you seen what it does?

It just graciously yields and bends to the direction of the wind. And when the wind passes, it sways right back into place. It’s even said its roots become stronger with every storm.

Even in the strongest of storms, it will uproot instead of break.

One of the factors that enables it its flexibility is its internal structure of spongy elastic tissue in stead of rigid wood.

However, not all palms are created equal. It’s those that originate from hurricane prone areas that are the most resilient. This suggests that the flexibility and resilience evolves over time.

If we are to learn from nature, we need to evolve into flexible beings. When faced with life’s winds and storms, this flexibility grants us survival and builds resilience.

Ashby’s Law of Requisite Variety, can be applied to us as follows:

In order to deal properly with the diversity of problems the world throws at you, you need to have a repertoire of responses which are (at least) as nuanced as the problems you face.

How do we build flexibility? 

First, take inventory of your beliefs.

Are your rigid belief systems serving you in where you would like to take your life? Are they serving you in fostering healthy connections with your yourself, your kids, your spouse, etc.?

How are you adapting to the changing societal landscape? If you are a millennial like me, how do you reach your kids in the context of their lives being tethered in social media and the internet?

How do you get out of your office mentality and play at the arcade with your little ones?

Do you need to embrace online dating?

If you are a newly-wed, how are you adapting to suddenly having someone in your space everyday of the week, sharing your bed, your wardrobe and your oxygen?

Do you need to pivot from your career?

At any given point in time, you have 3 options when faced with a (potentially) stress-inducing situation:

  1. Accept it
  2. Change it or you
  3. Resist it

I never wanna take the third option ever again. Change requires that something change. Move with the tide, not against it.

An important thing to note though: the change that you embrace needs to be in line with your values and who you are. Otherwise you’ll break.

Where flexibility starts is as a mindset that either says it is what it has to be, or I can’t stay the same or it can’t stay the same.

Acceptance is not passive. You accept it as it is and as you are in the midst of it, and you positively reframe your thinking on it. E.g. failure vs feedback; loss vs what was not meant for me…

Changing yourself may either be physically or mentally. Do you need to be physically stronger for this new job? Do you need to get healing to receive this new desired person in your life?

So flexibility is also a mindset that accepts that the risk of stagnancy far outweighs the risk of taking the risk. That perhaps your health is at stake, your very life is at stake, your relationship, even your legacy.

It is a mindset that says it’s totally OK for you to make the change, and that you deserve to make that change.

It’s a mindset that says I’m taking the risk to flex even if things don’t pan out, I trust God. That, in the words of Marie Forleo, everything is figure-outable. I’ll learn, I’ll help to learn, I’ll ask for help, to figure it all out.

I’ll be wise with my time and resources. I’ll prioritize who and what I need to. I’ll set boundaries, for myself and for others.

It’s good when flexibility propels you forward. It shouldn’t be bending over backwards for someone. It shouldn’t have to come at the expense of your goals, health and/or safety.

I’ll say this one thing though, flexibility is a whole lot easier and more fun when we’re self-aware, and healing of our limitations and strongholds.

I’m a strong introvert who was just flexible enough to learn to be sociable. Lol, don’t get it twisted, I’m still a homebody. But, but, it is my goal to be out more.😁

I don’t like the limelight, when I’m there, it’s because it’s tied to a goal of me serving.

I want you to sway to the dance of your reckoning new exciting goals and life, and go at it with faith and zeal. And because it will come with challenges, ‘when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance…’

THE TAKE HOME

– Flexibility enables survival.

– Flexibility builds resilience.

– A flexible mind is curious and willing to take on new challenges with a smile. It is open to the discomfort of uncertainty. It can catapult you into exciting new territories with a knowing that it will be figured out.

– Flexibility makes for faster and enhanced connections with your people.

– Flexibility will help you let go of things and situations that are not for you, and start embracing the delicious things that are.

– Importantly, flexibility should be within the ambit of your goals, values and identity.

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